Hmmm.....
I can honestly say that I never thought about what things would be like when I got older...who really does, really who!! And if you told me all of this would happen I wouldn’t have believed you any way!
I mean you can watch what your parents are doing with their lives, and until you actually go through life.....you don't have a clue!! All the while thinking your parents are just nuts…nothing is as bad as what they are going on about….wrong…they are right…well at least most of the time! Don’t tell them…they get kind of stupid when you tell them stuff like I just admitted.
There are things going on in my life now that I never thought I would go through...or to tell the truth, I never even conceived.
I have been extremely lucky, I have to say this first off - I have a wonderful loveable husband, 4 fantastic daughters, 3 beautiful grandsons and one more on the way...I am blessed with a huge extended family and a great supportive group of friends. I work with large group of people, my main bosses 3 women, are amazing and my coworkers are great!
But and yes there is a BUT... I feel as though this year has been the most chaotic, demanding, nerve-racking, stressful, heart wrenching and so frustrating that I have ever been through.
And we have just gotten started!!
First my Dad passed away from Asbestosis (and 40 years of smoking didn’t help), went into the hospital January 31st and died February 3rd, my Mother, brother and myself where with him the whole time. We had some good moments and some horrible moments…All I am going to say about it is my Dad didn’t deserve to die that way, no one does. Everyone should just close their eyes and drift off into a peaceful sleep…I like the Hollywood way!
I understand it’s “just a movie” but give me the dam movie any day!!!
On Feb 15th because of my Dad, I promised I quit smoking, so I and my “loveable Hubby” did.
Cold turkey for him, I chewed “the gum” for a couple days. And YES there were a couple of times that I was sure that “loveable hubby” wanted to kill me and me him. Neither on of us has smoked......So Far So Good!!!
Next my extremely funny, “last male chauvinist pig” redneck, (his words not mine…he does laundry…so he can’t be a chauvinist) “loveable Hubby” was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes on Feb 24th he also has high blood pressure.
So we went from white bread, mashed potatoes and gravy to Multi grain bread and no mashed potatoes and gravy. Lots of bottled water…I like the sparkling kind, (diet pop for hubby) lots of good for you veggies and salads. Hubby says he went from real food to salads and cardboard! (He’s joking….he now loves Yogurt). And I think this has been a great change...I am getting so good at chopping veggies! And I like chicken...you can cook it so many ways!
Loveable hubby has dropped 45 lbs…looks great and has more energy now and with meds and diet changes Blood sugar is way down and so is the blood pressure!!! So Far So Good!!!
I have not lost a pound nor have I gained, which is what normally happens when I quit smoking. So that's good right...I haven't gained...oh please let me loose some weight!!!!
I have been dealing with some problems for awhile now, it started a few years ago with me landing up at the hospital with major tingles down the left leg and pins and needles in my foot. That progressed over the last 3 years, my right leg and foot are now all tingles and the left side of my face…plus half of my tongue can’t taste anything…which really pisses me off.
So we are at 3 MRIs and on April 6th had my lumbar puncture…something I will never ever have again! Didn’t freeze well….5 freezing shots later…and I could still feel it!
When the Dr's Assistant phoned me to tell me the date, she said that I may get a headache from it, some people do. Then the Dr. said while he was poking needles into me…you WILL get a headache and it could last 1 day or 3 weeks.
Mine lasted 10 days…4 of those days where I couldn’t lift my head off my bed. Wasted days and wasted nights! That I will never get back…can’t waste time like that!
We are at April the 22nd and still no results. Although the Dr. informed me that there is two more lesions on last MRI, so he could be leaning more towards MS, something that he wasn't willing to do earlier, because he thought I was too old...I am not that old, hell I haven't even turned 50 yet...close but not yet.
Waiting….this is what I am waiting to find out. 3 years of wondering…with no name as to what is going on with me…yes I know it won’t change anything…but when stuff is going on with your body…and you have all of these great medical people, machines of science and technology it would be nice to have a name! Not I have tingles, pins and needles, twangs, no balance……this can be both fun and scary depending on my frame of mind for the day.
If I do wobble, stumble or fall…just blame it on the….WHAT!
It doesn’t have a name! I need a name!
I believe that I have had a pretty good attitude about this whole thing, I don’t rage at the world for doing this to me, I don’t sit in my room and cry. Can’t do much about it, so suck it up Princess and get on with life.
Ok I will, but if I had a name I would do it much better….so for now I wait….just wait!
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