Christmas is coming!!

Looking back it has been a very sad and very happy year for us.
Losing my Dad was unexpected and heartwenching.
Loveable Hubby finding out about having type 2 diabetes
And my relaps with MS. 
On the bright side we have not smoked since Feb 15th  We eat so much better!
We have a new grandson Charlie to add with our 3 other Grandsons, Liam, Ben and Brent!
Loveable Hubby is looking and feeling Great! My health has been better. 
Our girls Jodi, Tracy, Brandy, Serena and their familys are healthy and happy!
What more could a person ask for!
We have had a fun year with our friends Donna and Doug camping!
Bobbie and Dennis in Palm Springs and the whole crew down there!
Tons of fun with the family, camping and partying! 
Althought I have to say I do miss the family gathering at the Lake!

So when I sit around the table with our families at Christmas this is what I will be the most happy about!
All the noise that the kids are making; the adult major discussions (LOL) about world events; the great food; shinning lights; music; laughter; and how blessed I am to have so many good people in my life.
Merry Christmas!

May the New Year bring you health, fun and laughter!

hmmm how things Change!

Well it's October and things have changed a bit since my last post.
I am having a relapse and this one sucks big time. My whole left side of my body has gone cold and numb...MS is so hard to discribe. It feels cold between my skin and my muscles..and it really hurts, sort of like the hot/cold stuff that you rub on sore muscles...only this feels cold. And it runs down the left side and across my back at the shoulders. I have been going through this since the end of September. I went on the major meds...3 days of intense drugs...I was like the energizer bunny...I didn't stop for 3 days...no sleep!! then the crash! I can sleep...that's all I want to do is sleep. I haven't been out of the house for 2 weeks. I have no energy and I just don't want to walk any where.

Today I walked down the block to where the mailbox used to be...to mail a letter...no mailbox...somebody took the dam thing away. So I thought about walking down to the Coop which is not that far...but just the thought of it made me stop, turn for home.

I wish people could understand the feeling...my legs feel like I have very heavy, very tight socks up to my knees and the weight of them make my legs hard to move and hurt my feet. My enemy is socks and shoes...I hate and I mean HATE socks and shoes. My legs and feet feel so much better in flipflops...which in winter is just not possible...I live in Canada for pete's sakes.

My GP doesn't want me to go back to work for a month...I am to rest...me...rest. Ok I can rest for just so long and then I want to do something. She has no idea about the guilt I have about not being at work...doing my share...looking after my 3 bosses. I just feel that I am letting everyone down...I am sitting at home.
I wish I could work at home, but that isn't possible...they won't let me do that...there has to be some way...I can type...I can research...why can't I just do it from my house...so I can work...at anytime...3am in the morning when I can't sleep, but I guess that just isn't possible where I work...I am needed at the office, which is the reason why I feel frustrated...I just can't go into the office, not right now anyway I just don't have the strength.
Today I am frustrated, pissed off and alittle depressed!! Today I really HATE MS!!!!!!!!!!

Happenings

Well I have to say that things have been pretty good!!! And I am very happy with my life these days!
Lovable Hubby has lost 66lbs and is looking pretty dam hot!
My first Grandson has arrived!! Charlie Cooper arrive Sept 1, 2010
My MS so far so good! I have decided to take the healthy eating, vitamin approach for now...and so far so good!!!
We are still not smoking...which is very good!
Loveable Hubby has a new phone...you know one of those Iphones that does every thing a computer does....and he has been driving me crazy with it!! (and hubby if you are reading this...love you..Mean it!!)
Right now we are camping in the Beautiful BC sunshine...on Vancouver Island the prettiest place on the earth!!! I am an Island Girl and I love it!!!

Well I have the Name

And the winner is.....MS..... just what we thought 3 years ago.  Although I still had this little hope in the back of my head that it wasn't MS and I would wake up and all of this would go away.  So I had my little cry...read all the material they gave me...went to the pool and swam some laps to help clear my head...and Loveable Hubby and I had a long talk (I talked...more like verbal diarrhea....he listened) and then I got down to the research!!!

I got my answer on April 28th.  I just got into the MS Clinic on May 27th.  Now I have decisions to make...go on the drugs or not.  This I am struggling with!  Not because I have to give myself a needle...that doesn't bother me.  Nope it's the side effects of the drugs that I am having a problem with...and the fact that they are just preventive...30% less likely to have another attack.  I am just not sure if I want to put these drugs into my system for 30%.  I am not sure that is a good trade off.  I have done alot of research into the Drugs...now it's time to do the research on a more holistic way of dealing with this. 

The Dr. would like me on the drugs sooner rather than later...but I need time to think this all through. 
Must do some more research!!!!

Life and The Name waiting Game!

Hmmm.....
I can honestly say that I never thought about what things would be like when I got older...who really does, really who!! And if you told me all of this would happen I wouldn’t have believed you any way!

I mean you can watch what your parents are doing with their lives, and until you actually go through life.....you don't have a clue!! All the while thinking your parents are just nuts…nothing is as bad as what they are going on about….wrong…they are right…well at least most of the time! Don’t tell them…they get kind of stupid when you tell them stuff like I just admitted.

There are things going on in my life now that I never thought I would go through...or to tell the truth, I never even conceived.

I have been extremely lucky, I have to say this first off - I have a wonderful loveable husband, 4 fantastic daughters, 3 beautiful grandsons and one more on the way...I am blessed with a huge extended family and a great supportive group of friends. I work with large group of people, my main bosses 3 women, are amazing and my coworkers are great!

But and yes there is a BUT... I feel as though this year has been the most chaotic, demanding, nerve-racking, stressful, heart wrenching and so frustrating that I have ever been through.
And we have just gotten started!!

First my Dad passed away from Asbestosis (and 40 years of smoking didn’t help), went into the hospital January 31st and died February 3rd, my Mother, brother and myself where with him the whole time. We had some good moments and some horrible moments…All I am going to say about it is my Dad didn’t deserve to die that way, no one does. Everyone should just close their eyes and drift off into a peaceful sleep…I like the Hollywood way!
I understand it’s “just a movie” but give me the dam movie any day!!!

On Feb 15th because of my Dad, I promised I quit smoking, so I and my “loveable Hubby” did.
Cold turkey for him, I chewed “the gum” for a couple days. And YES there were a couple of times that I was sure that “loveable hubby” wanted to kill me and me him. Neither on of us has smoked......So Far So Good!!!

Next my extremely funny, “last male chauvinist pig” redneck, (his words not mine…he does laundry…so he can’t be a chauvinist) “loveable Hubby” was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes on Feb 24th he also has high blood pressure.
So we went from white bread, mashed potatoes and gravy to Multi grain bread and no mashed potatoes and gravy. Lots of bottled water…I like the sparkling kind, (diet pop for hubby) lots of good for you veggies and salads. Hubby says he went from real food to salads and cardboard! (He’s joking….he now loves Yogurt).  And I think this has been a great change...I am getting so good at chopping veggies! And I like chicken...you can cook it so many ways!
Loveable hubby has dropped 45 lbs…looks great and has more energy now and with meds and diet changes Blood sugar is way down and so is the blood pressure!!! So Far So Good!!!

I have not lost a pound nor have I gained, which is what normally happens when I quit smoking. So that's good right...I haven't gained...oh please let me loose some weight!!!!

I have been dealing with some problems for awhile now, it started a few years ago with me landing up at the hospital with major tingles down the left leg and pins and needles in my foot. That progressed over the last 3 years, my right leg and foot are now all tingles and the left side of my face…plus half of my tongue can’t taste anything…which really pisses me off.

So we are at 3 MRIs and on April 6th had my lumbar puncture…something I will never ever have again! Didn’t freeze well….5 freezing shots later…and I could still feel it!

When the Dr's Assistant phoned me to tell me the date, she said that I may get a headache from it, some people do. Then the Dr. said while he was poking needles into me…you WILL get a headache and it could last 1 day or 3 weeks.
Mine lasted 10 days…4 of those days where I couldn’t lift my head off my bed. Wasted days and wasted nights! That I will never get back…can’t waste time like that!

We are at April the 22nd and still no results. Although the Dr. informed me that there is two more lesions on last MRI, so he could be leaning more towards MS, something that he wasn't willing to do earlier, because he thought I was too old...I am not that old, hell I haven't even turned 50 yet...close but not yet.

Waiting….this is what I am waiting to find out. 3 years of wondering…with no name as to what is going on with me…yes I know it won’t change anything…but when stuff is going on with your body…and you have all of these great medical people, machines of science and technology it would be nice to have a name! Not I have tingles, pins and needles, twangs, no balance……this can be both fun and scary depending on my frame of mind for the day.
If I do wobble, stumble or fall…just blame it on the….WHAT!
It doesn’t have a name! I need a name!

I believe that I have had a pretty good attitude about this whole thing, I don’t rage at the world for doing this to me, I don’t sit in my room and cry. Can’t do much about it, so suck it up Princess and get on with life.
Ok I will, but if I had a name I would do it much better….so for now I wait….just wait!