I have MS everyday, even good ones!

This happened to me 3 years ago in May, I had this post sitting all this time as a draft.  I wasn't going to post it, it was more for me than anyone else.  I was so upset that day I just needed to write it down for me.

I don't need to share the details of what happened that day, if it ever happens again, I will stand up and defend not only myself, but every person who is battling MS everyday!
....just because I look good today doesn't mean that I am not struggling!

Yes Every Day I have MS - May 2012

Something minor happened today that upset me so badly that it actually made me cry.  To me it made my disease seem like it didn't matter and I didn't matter. 
It's very hard to explain without telling the sorid details, although I am sure that anyone battling everyday with any type of disease would understand.

There was no malice implied no one did it on purpose to try to upset me, but I took this event as totally belittling and disrespectful to MY disease I took it personally.  I am sure that if I pointed out to the people how upset I was they would be totally horrified that their actions caused me distress.

And there lies the problem for anyone battling an incurable disease:

I have MS everyday! Even on my good days!  I battle every single day.  I deal with pain every single day! My family deals with my MS every single day!

May is MS awareness month there is tons of activities going on around the world, not just in Canada to bring MS awareness in the forefront.  There are over 75,000 people in Canada with MS and more everyday.  Canada has one of the highest rates of MS worldwide. 

I know 3 very strong vibrant beautiful women who battle this disease everyday.  With their heads held high, not wanting people to think that they are any different than you! They battle everyday and they should be celebrated!!!!!

To everyone that I know that is battling or has battled a disease and I was insensitive to you or your disease in anyway I apologize.  I hope that I have never done something insensitive or dismissive to you or your disease.  This event today was a lesson that I needed to learn too!

People need to be a lot more compassionate and think, that person beside you may look just fine, but they maybe battling for a normal life.  Don't be so dismissive to their battle!


Again I wrote this 3 years ago, I decided to share it this year. Why because I am OK with my MS now! Still not happy I have MS but I am strong, at least strong willed and I have learned to manage it.  And because it's not ok just to sit and say nothing anymore. 
I will fight!  I choose to FIGHT MS!!

One of my friends has since past away she was one of the strongest women I know, so in honour of my friend Jan and any one else battling MS I will make myself heard should anyone choose to make Our disease not important!

May is MS awareness Month, if you don't know anything about MS why not find out, the Canadian MS Society has lots of information you can read. 

Thank you to all those people generously donating their time and money to all the MS activities for MS Awareness Month! I appreciate all you are doing to FIGHT MS!

Teresa

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!


My time of the year to reflect....and everything that I think of to write is going to sound so sappy...I do mean it with all my heart... so here it goes!

Looking back there are things that I never thought I would miss at the time.  Boy if we only knew then what we know now.  I miss Grandma and Grandpa McCoy`s on Christmas eve!  Those wonderful cookies she would bake...the smell of her house...and that little Christmas tree in the corner of the dining room with presents ``on`` the tree! 

Grandpa sneaking his rye and Grandma pretending that she didn`t know!  Until he started to sing that one song....then all you would hear was Grandma yelling ``Russell`` and he would stop and just smile.
Grandpa McCoy`s birthday was Christmas Eve, so we always spent that evening at their house! Everyone would come, Kathy, Robbie, Tim, Uncle Bob...Auntie Ethel was there and going way back was Aunt Molly...plus a bunch of other people that I can`t remember their names.  So much food and fun!!

Christmas morning, Ken and I waiting for 7am to come...we had been up since 6 with our stockings, but we had to wait until 7 to open presents from under the tree.  I had the coffee ready and the minute that clock struck 7am Ken was running down the hall to wake Mom and Dad up!  Of course Dad had to take his time which only made the waiting agonizing.  He thoroughly enjoyed watching both of us squirm, waiting to get under that tree!

Then going to Grandma Talbot's. Where most of the family would show up...all of us cramped into her little apartment.

From the time that I was 16 to the last Christmas at her apartment the first thing I did was go to the fridge to see if ``it`` was there and ``it`` always was!

You see Grandma Talbot had an age limit, you were cut off presents at 16 and went into the grab bag.  Well, on my 15th Christmas I knew that I was going to get that special gift, because it was my last Christmas to get a gift, the last one was always a good one.  When all the presents were handed out to all of the kids...I didn`t have one.  Mom quietly ask my Grandma where my present was and she said `` she doesn`t get one this year...she is in the grab bag``  Mom had remind her that I was only 15 this was my last Christmas for a present. 

My Grandma didn`t remember! I was so hurt!

Grandma called me into the kitchen and apologized, she was very very sorry that she had forgotten.  I was disappointed but I said it was OK....she then asked me what she could do for me right then.  The only thing that came to mind was a ham sandwich with just mustard, because Grandma always made them with mayo and I didn`t like mayo!

From that Christmas on there was always a ham sandwich with only mustard in the fridge for me!

I miss my grandparents!  I miss that time with both my Dad`s family and my Mom`s family, we did have so much fun!  I just hope that our grandchildren remember us with fond memories like the ones I am sharing with everyone.

Enjoy your time with you family!

Merry Christmas!!

Another Year! Wow

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!!

Yes, another year has just gone racing past, wow so fast.

I have a few things to reflect apon.

Over all both my "loveable hubby's" and my health have been pretty darn good. knock on wood.  I have been ok this year...a few little hiccups along the way, but nothing serious.  "Loveable Hubby's" diabetis is in check. Dr. gave him an A+ last visit.  And I happy to report that my Nero is very happy with whatever I am doing....so I don't have to go back for a full Year!!  So on that front we are good!!

We did lose some family memebers, my Aunt, my cousin and a step cousin...they all pasted within days of each other in January of this year.  And a dear friend and my cousin wife pass in the fall.  These were hard to handle, but with age I understand that this will be the more rather than the less.

On a happier note my Mom and I went on a trip together this past January, Mexico!!  I love the Mexican Riveria!!  We went for our big birthday's.  Mom's 70th and my 50th!  It was a great time!!!  Thanks Mom for taking me!!!!
Now if I could only convince "loveable hubby" to take a flight I know that he would love it too!!

We again went to two Music Festivials and had a great time at both! Just ask about the Scotch and my friend Sue when you see "lovable hubby"...good story!
The next was Sun Fest with our friends Bobbie and Dennis and Bernie and Bob..I better not forget Erin!  That was so much fun!
Lets see I guess I better not mention who did the umbrella dance...flashing...and the streaking....start paying up!!
And then there was 3:00 in the morning banging on the Motorhome door....Karen and Lisa!!!  Next year Cuz I will party with you!!!

We also camped with the grandkids and their parents this summer in Parksville.  4 grandsons 3 daughters and 2 son in laws! 

I sure hope Jodi has the plans going for next year!! Hopefully we will have all 5 grandsons, 4 daughters and 4 son in laws together!

Last night I went out for dinner with 4 incrediable women that I haven't seen for 4 years.  We had a great time catching up!  Lots of laughter!  I really missed talking with this women, so we have made a pact together again in spring/summer!

There are some others out there that I have lost touch with, but really want to catch up with!
I am going to make that my News Years resolution to contact some old friends for coffee or dinner!
Feel free to contact me too!  It can be done!!!

"Loveable Hubby" and I have a full slate this Christmas Season with family, friends and travel, somehting I am really looking forward too!

I would like to take this time to Thank all of you for being part of my life even if we don't see each other on a regular basis.

I wish you all a very safe, joyful Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tberry

MS and "Loveable Hubby"

I have been feeling pretty good lately... I have to tell you just thinking that scares the hell out of me, because I want stay active and healthy.


See MS is one of those diseases that comes up and smacks you from behind...sort of like Gibbs on NCIS always gets Tony in the back of the head...LOL I love that show!! One minute I am feeling just about normal, well normal for me! Then it hits, the pain, the stiffness, the tingles, the fatigue, the effort just to get up out of my chair.
Then maybe a few hours, a few days it all goes away (accept the feet anyways pain in the feet) and I feel pretty close to normal again. For a little while anyway and then....we start all over.
When the fatigue hits that is another thing all together. It's not like just being tired, it's so much more and very hard to describe. It's exhausting...beyond exhausting.

I try very hard to stay positive about the MS but that can be draining too...sometimes I don't want to! Sometimes I just want to yell at the world. But instead I try to laugh...because it works! At least it works for me!

I live with "Loveable Hubby" who is one of the funniest people I know. Just ask our friends! He is very entertaining! He is also very high maintenance and can be opinionated!!
This doesn't give me time to sit and wallow with MS because he has me hopping.

"Loveable Hubby" is an extremely hard worker – he is also a very hard player!

He is a musician, a drummer to be precise, heavy duty mechanic, truck driver, former fisherman, and businessman. He has done a lot. He has had a government job for the past 10 or 11 years...he calls it is retirement job, because he is not working for himself.

His word is his bond! If you tell him you are going to do something he will hold you to it, because if he gives you his word it's done! So think before you speak! In some ways he very old fashion and in others very modern. Some people just don't know what to make of him.

He can "MacGyver" anything, some of the things that he as invented are amazing! You need something fixed...he will find away. He is chauvinistic...there are "pink jobs and blue jobs" He doesn't do the pink jobs...although he does do laundry (he puts clothes in the washer and dryer but doesn't like to fold) but that's our secret.

I never have to worry about the car; I never have to worry about plumbing, tile work, electrical, any mechanical thing in our house, or washing the windows (I don't do windows; even before the "problem" I just don't do windows!!). The heavy lifting is done!

Best part is he keeps me laughing, even when we are bickering back in forth he is pretty funny! He loves to pick on me. We make a pretty darn good team "Loveable Hubby" and me. I have always been there for him and him for me. I think we are pretty lucky that way! 

Every once in awhile he lets me have a short little pity break and then he makes me laugh -  that's the best thing he can do for me!

I think he is the best!  But don't tell him it will go straight to his head!

Slow Walkers and Bus Riders!

There is a "I hate slow walking people" group on Facebook.  I can say that I am extremely offended my this...why?
Let me start off with I don't walk slow just to tick you off!!!

Five years ago I was a very fast walker, I was always passing people on the side walk, was always the first across a cross walk.  That all changed.  I now walk with a cane, this is mostly to keep me from falling on my face because my mind still thinks I can walk fast, but my legs remind me that I can't.

So I am now a slow steady walker.  I do my best to get across that street so that people driving aren't held up...but some days it's harder that others.  People take a heart pill!  Good grief already...if you are late it is not my fault!  And if you are a fast walker - I and others are doing our best to get the hell out of your way, because you are so friggen rude. 
Remember... 5 years ago I was a healthy fast walking person...this can happen to you too!! Although I really hope not. I wouldn't wish is on my worse enemy...well maybe...no..not even my worse enemy.
People with canes have a slow but very steady pace most of the time, little things make us go out of whack.

Those who think that I can get out of your way when you are walking straight at me WRONG Won't Happen... I don't move that fast...you do...so you side step...because I can't.  I will just stop..well eventually... and run into you and we will just be staring at each other -  you will walk away with a mumble about stupid people not moving out of your way. 

Teach your children that ducking in front of a person with a cane and coming to a full stop  - will either make them lose their balance or fall trying to stop to move out of the way of your little darling and then you will hear mumbling from us!
I guess I was raise right...when I saw someone with a mobility problem I MOVED out of the way, gave that person the room they needed.  To me that just made sense.  I had a grandfather that used a cane and a walker so I guess I have some empathy.  I also got up from the front seat on the bus for the elderly and people with canes or walkers. This my father taught me as he drove bus.

Now let me make this clear.. I can walk to the back of the bus...I don't demand the Accessible seats. I hate sitting sideways on the bus for a couple of reasons...motion sickness and it's harder on my legs for some reason.  So I always look for a seat facing the direction we are going in.  Now for 3 days in a row the bus has been pretty darn full, standing room only by the time we get two blocks from my stop.  I have walked to the back of the bus all three days. 

Yesterday this young guy was quite put out about moving his bag of the seat. My bag is always on my lap..not on the seat next to me.  AND just what is it with men having to do the spread eagle while sitting? geez...close your frigging legs you do not need to take up that much room.   I don't need your knees touching mind. My solution to this is I put the cane between me and the offending young man...I think that really ticked him off!

One of my "Bus Buddies" this morning asked me if anyone had offered me a seat at the front when I got on...nope not one!  Now don't get me wrong I would have said thank you but there is a seat at the back and I will take that one.  But what if there wasn't?
What about the elderly man that gets on...I have been watching no one moves for him he has to walk to the first available seat at the back of the bus. 

I know that here is people out there with teen aged kids or college kids...ask them...do you move? I bet they don't.

Please keep this in mind - one day I MAY have to say to your kid or you:
would you please move.....because if you make me stand...
once the bus starts moving I will be in your seat anyway and you won't like it...I promise!!!


Hope you have a very nice day!

The man on the Bus!

I ride the bus everyday to work which gives me a lot of time to watch people. I believe is becoming one of my favourite hobbies...if you can call it that!!
We have some wonderful colourful people in this city! They give me great moments of pleasure!!
I also play the what is their life game...you know the game: There is a gentleman on the bus, never talks to anyone just sits on the bench seat at the front with is fedora hat, black raincoat, black gloves, shinny black shoes, grey pants, always clutching a black bag something like a computer bag, but it is not a computer, because it looks empty...well sort of half empty. He sort of slouches in the seat sometimes taking up two seats and always has the bag to his left side. He is in his late fifties, greying at the temples, otherwise I have never seen him without a hat...so I don't know if he is bald, balding or has a load of grey hair. My guess he is balding under that hat. He never smiles, never listens to music, never reads a book, never seems to look out the windows. Always slow to rise when his stop is coming up. Every once in a while he makes eye contact...and doesn't break it...which creeps me out! He stares at the other passengers...he's playing the game too...or is he?

When I was in grade 10 I took a body language class. I learned a lot from that class believe it or not!
Do you have a round table? Square table? where do you sit? beside your partner? or across from your partner? When you sit is your body open or closed? Do you look people in the eyes or advert your head?
I think about body language and eye contact when I talk to people. And most of the time I am aware of mine, most of the time.

There are people out there that appear to be so strong and outgoing and then you take a look at what their body is saying and you can figure out that their body is telling a different story. There are people I have gotten to know that put on this front.  Then only after a time you find they are completely different then what they have originally portrayed.

I myself can close off pretty dam fast and I am very aware of it. I am also very shy one on one...until I get to know someone then watch out I can talk your ear off! I like being in a group when meeting new people because I can hide in the group until I feel comfortable. Most people don't know that I am shy, I appear cold and aloof at times...well that is protection mode for me. I am not comfortable so I close down until I am. I am OK with this. Some people I know aren't OK with it.

Loveable Hubby can talk to anyone and be comfortable! He is great in front of people that is why he is a musician! He loves to entertain! I am fine being in the background. I am a good organizer I can get it done!
Loveable Hubby hates doing the details...that's my job!
I don't like people who are fake, coat-talliers or (Loveable Hubby's words) Star fuckers. I don't know why I am surprised by these type of people, but they always seem to get by me. I can tell you I have been blind sided a couple of times.

By the time I figure out that they aren't interested in being a friend they are only interested in what they can get or how they stand in importance with other people I know, it's too late! It's a deception that hurts.

These are the type of people my Loveable Hubby can see a mile away...but for some reason I don't. Sometimes my faith in people is too "Rose coloured". Far to forgiving in the past - I somehow let people walk over me, only to be disappointed time and again. My own doing...the glasses are now off. Which is sad in away.

Since my MS I am not as forgiving or maybe its because I don't have time to waste on superficial people.
So I cherish the friends and family I have!
My Mom, my Brother, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, 2nd Cousins and so on and so on! I really miss the family BBQ!

My 4 daughters are fantastic, as are their husbands.  Then there is the grandsons...4 and one more on the way 5 grandsons by October! they do give Loveable Hubby and me a lot of enjoyment! Still waiting for the granddaughter!

My Loveable Hubby, he is my best friend, the person who won't let me get away with self pity, who keeps me moving and laughing - He is my Rock!! The love of my life!!!! But don't tell him!!!

Back to the man on the Bus...who is he?  And what does he have in that bag?

The research and the distraction! Maybe a swim....

this is from last June...I forgot to post it! Silly me!!


Well I have done alot of Research and I am more confused then ever...way to go girl..you researched yourself out!! I just can't make up my mind. One moment I think I will go on the drugs the next forget it...give me a good vitamin and a swim...I will be just fine thank you every much!

On to other things because my brain is fried and I need a distraction!

Went to my brother's wedding last weekend.

"Loveable Hubby" and I made it a full pull weekend. Started by taking the ferry over to the big city and visting the grandbabies! We had a great time with them!! Liam is getting so big! Liam and Grandpa played baseball for along time and my little man Ben is just to dam cute for words!! Ben is always smiling and has no fear (which does scare me)he will climb on anything and everything! We didn't get to see Brent until the next day! He is getting big, it's amazing how much they change in just a few months. Brent wasn't feeling well but he is a pretty happy little guy!
We all went for lunch on Friday morning that was fun! Liam couldn't seem to get enough of Grandpa! And Grandpa found out just how fast Ben really is! One minute he was smiling and waving at Grandpa next he was up the stairs and out the door...I know that Grandpa was very surprised, it was pretty funny watching him run after Ben!

We left the kids and went to do a little shopping...did I mention that "Loveable Hubby" is a shop-alcoholic!! Every aisle...we have to go down every one...because we might miss a deal...give me strength!!
I am the kind of person that makes a list...goes to store..gets everything on the list...gets out!!! When I do bring "Loveable Hubby" it always cost me an extra 20 to 50 dollars!!

We did some grocery shopping and found a lovely little park in Maple Ridge for a walk, picnic and a rest. We then made our way up to my bro's new inlaws for his wedding.

Nice, small, family and a few friends wedding...Groom and Bride were alot of fun and everyone was in a happy "tease the happy couple" mood, which is the type of weddings I love!!! No pressure everything is laid back and fun and intimate...the big party was to come the following night.

We departed the wedding and went to our good friends Jeff and Carmel's house for the evening! Now that was wonderful, pulled the moterhouse into their beautiful park like property and parked MH for the evening! Relax!!

Now you have to know that we are considered "freaks" by our children regarding our Motorhouse (MH)...we have been known to sit in our MH in our driveway and eat a pizza and watch a movie! What's wrong with that!!
I should have known better than to answer the phone when they called and ask what we were doing...I don't tell them anymore...just say watching TV with "Loveable Hubby"!! Sometimes our children really don't need to know everything!!

Back to the weekend.

We spent a very nice evening with Jeff and Carmel and their kids. Who we haven't seen for awhile. They grow up so fast I remember the first time I ever met Savannah she was just one and she put her arms out to me and smiled, I was hooked right then and there!
She is graduating this year where did the time go!

I didn't even recognize Hunter he is an amazing young man, watch out for this one I predict he will be a famous musician he is very talented!! Katilyn has grown into a fine young lady and it was cute her telling us about her new beau!! It all made me very happy and proud to know them and very old at the same time! I throughly enjoyed the evening!!

Next morning we drank our coffee and watched Jeff start to mow his lawn...it takes him 6 hours to mow, needless to say we didn't watch for the whole 6 hours. "Loveable Hubby" asked him why he did get a ride on mowers...Jeff's response. I sit at a desk all week...this is great exercise!

We left to let Jeff mow and headed for the community swimming pool. Nice place, but I forgot my googles...and I just can't swim without my googles. Hubby and I had a good time just the same! We then went to Fort Langley and got a campsite.
This was nice...sat and soaked up the sun for a couple of hours. This has been the worse Spring so far...alot of rain so when the sun comes out we all get excited, summer might actualy be coming!
Walked up to the Hall for pictures and then the party begin!! Dinner was served, Brent Lee's band played, we all danced! One Speech by Ken - it was a very nice reception!

I had the most fun catching up with Robin and Marnie...I really miss them! don't get to see those two very much anymore. Alot of people we haven't seen for awhile were at the wedding and it was fun catching up! Cousins Karen, Erin, Kathy and Bob! Friends Paul, Theo, Tony, Jane, Pat and Norm, Robbie and a whole lot more! It was a fun time!
Peter and Diane gave us a ride back to the campsite. And off to bed we went!
Sunday morning we packed up and then went for a nice walk around Fort Langley, what a nice quaint little town! Off to the ferry we went, with a stop at Tim Hortons for some coffee and a sandwich.
Made the 3pm ferry and back to the Island we went! Serena and Derek pulled up to the house 5 minutes after us...we were on the same boat! And we didn't even know it!  Freaks that we are - "Loveable Hubby" and I watch a movie and never left the Motorhouse!! LOL LOL great end to a very enjoyable weekend!
Now I have to think again...or maybe a swim!